All's Fair in Love and War
by Marvelicious
Summary: Welcome to Winchester Studios! Now please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, and we ask you to please not touch any of the local flora or fauna. Chances are you don't want to know where it's been. Pornstar!AU; multiple pairings


**Heh – okay, I've wanted to do a pornstar AU for a while, and this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. I may wind up moving it to the account I share with my sister if we decide to round robin this bitch, but for now, it's just a bit of a story to prove that yes, I'm still alive.**

**Currently, I am working on two separate big-bang challenges, so all of my WIP's are on hiatus at the moment, but they will be completed after the challenges finish (Which will also be posted here!)**

**I hope you enjoy this as much as I did! (And that I didn't talk too much!) :D**

"Hello and welcome to Winchester Studios – my name is Gabe the babe, and I'll be your tour guide this evening." Dean rolled his eyes as Gabriel launched into his intro, sounding way too much like an obnoxious tour guide for one of their most popular porn stars. "Now please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times," He continued, addressing the group of prospective employees that were about to get the grand tour, about evenly split between amused and confused, "and we ask you to please not touch any of the local flora or fauna. Chances are you don't want to know where it's been." He smirked, looking over to Dean, and Dean figured that was probably going to be the only chance he'd get to talk all night.

He raised his hand in a relaxed greeting, "Dean Winchester," he introduced himself with a laid back grin, looking over the fresh meat. Most of the group actually looked like they had potential, and more than one caught his eye right off the bat. "Welcome to the studio, and try not to listen to that one too much. We're just going to give you a walk through tonight, explain our policies and procedures, and chances are you'll get to see some behind the scenes of our studio." The monologue was too familiar by this point; he'd been doing the annual scouting trip for three years straight now. It was easy to just go with the flow of it, laid back and carefree as he watched the potentials' reactions. "Like Gabe said, please don't touch things, and don't harass our other employees. Those are really the only rules, though if you're being naughty I reserve the right to add a few more."

"Or pull out the flogger," Gabe teased, winking in an over-the-top way that got a few giggles, as well as a few blushes. If there was anything to be said for Gabriel, it was that he could play the newbies like nothing else. "So while we're waiting for the go-ahead to get started, who's seen some of Dean "Dallas" Winchester's stuff?" Really, Dean should have known. He sighed, rolling his eyes again at Gabriel's antics. He wasn't going to get a rise out of Dean this early on.

Instead, he scanned the small group, picking out a few telltale blushes as several of them looked around as if wondering whether they should answer Gabe or not. Dean decided to take pity on them. "Don't answer that," he groaned, pretending to sound testy as he leveled a glare at Gabriel. This group was a lot quieter than previous years had prepared him for. That could get awkward real fast. "Does anyone have any questions before we get started?"

Whether he would have gotten a response or not would never be known, since the door opened at that moment revealing none other than his little brother Sam – shirtless and oiled up for a shoot. "Hey," he called in to them, "you've got the go-ahead. Only place off-limits is stage three, but we're filming on two, six, and in the dungeon. Changing room one is clear, and the people in props and costumes know to expect you at some point."

"Thanks," Dean acknowledged him, slightly amused by how many eyes were trained on his brother's every move, or better yet, the sweatpants tied low around his hips concealing what they all wanted to see.

"What stage are you on stud?" Gabriel asked before Sam left, making his brother grin with the casual flirting "might have to do the whole tour from there." It didn't really look like anyone in their group disagreed with him either.

He never could keep a straight face, Dean noticed, adorable dimples making their appearance as Sam laughed. "I've been a bad boy this week," Sam teased, "I've been sent to the dungeon,"

"Packing illegal firearms again?" Gabe shot back, giving a none-too-subtle leer in the direction of Sam's crotch.

"Maybe he was too quick a draw with 'em," Dean smirked as he suggested it, egging his brother on.

"As much as I'd love to stand here trading insults with you all night, some of us have work to do." Sam bitched before making his exit. "You're so gonna pay for that one later, Jerk."

Gabriel made a huge show of licking his lips when Sam was out of sight, and nearly everyone let loose with nervous little giggles. "Word to the wise," Dean taunted the group who'd just oogled his brother, "if you're ever set to shoot with Sam it's a sure sign someone's out to get you."

"That boy takes 'hung like a horse' to a whole new meaning," Gabriel assured them all to clarify.

"Feel free to tease him about it." Dean added, "if his head gets much bigger it'd never fit." His words had the desired effect of bringing Gabriel nearly to tears with laughter, though their new arrivals seemed unsure whether they could laugh or not. "You're allowed to laugh; we like to keep things fairly lighthearted around here." Dean assured them, "if you wind up working for the studio, we're like one big, annoying family most of the time, so get used to it. Now come on, let's go take the tour."

The first place they visited was Stage One. When not in use, it was nearly empty, not even a bed there to give away what really went on there during its operational hours. Though… there wasn't usually a bed in use anyway, he supposed. Dean pointed out the lights set up all around the perimeter of the "room" which only really had two walls, and a portion of a third. "When all of these are turned on, you'd be surprised how bright the stage is. We use special filters over them of course, so no one is blinded and everyone looks great on the cameras." He swiveled around as he explained, pointing to several spots, "which will be there, there, and there, with the addition of one or two handhelds in a typical shoot."

"There are at least fifteen people in here at any given time," Gabe added, "so if you get stage fright, this industry is definitely not for you. It does take a bit of getting used to, but it's a lot easier than you'd think, since no one is generally looking right at you – it's all on their cameras. Dean how about you do a demonstration for them?" He smirked, winking at Dean, who got the impression that this was going to be a rather long tour tonight.

"How about we just go into the dressing room?" Dean suggested, his eyes sweeping over their group again. Now was a good chance to really check them out since none of them were looking back at him; they all had their eyes focused on the stage, mapping it out, picturing themselves up there, or whatever they were doing. Dean usually considered himself a man's man, but there were definitely a few women there he wouldn't mind having a go at either.

"Ooh, kinky. Think anyone left us some lube?" Gabe shot back, nevertheless starting to edge around the group towards the door to the dressing rooms.

"Unlike you," Dean teased him back, pulling out his keys and feeling the small tube of lube in his pocket brush up against his fingers, "I was a good boy scout and came prepared." He figured he might as well have some fun, since it was obvious Gabe wasn't going to behave and follow protocol. Then again, when did he ever? At least no one really seemed to be offended by it, if anything they seemed to be enjoying themselves. A good sign, all things considered.

"They taught you that in the boy scouts?" A man in their tour group joked back at him, and Dean looked back as he opened the door to meet dark brown hair and a downright adorable smile. Okay, forget the blonde girl he'd been eyeing, this was like, love at first sight or some shit. Lust at least.

"Okay, boy scout-ish shoot," Dean admitted with a shaky smile, hoping they couldn't all hear the furious pounding of his heart. The guy was shorter than him, cute, and had a sense of humor, not to mention was probably good in bed, judging by the circumstances – in other words, everything on Dean's short list of what he looked for in a guy. "What's your name?" He asked, letting everyone file past him into the changing rooms.

"John," The other man replied, giving Dean a discreet wink as he passed him. Oh god, this was going to be fun.

"Here are the dressing rooms," Gabriel told them, giving Dean a look like he knew exactly what Dean was up to and thought he was a bit of a moron. Hey, when Gabe stopped flirting with his brother, then maybe Dean would lay off on fucking the newbies.

Gabriel pointed out the separate stalls, informing the group that they were used for getting into costume and for any preparation that needed to be done for a scene. "Also good for a quickie or two," Dean pointed out, grinning and looking directly at John as he said it. John's mouth twitched almost imperceptibly as the man tried, and mostly succeeded, in holding back a smile. Plan 'seduce the newbie' immediately switched on in Dean's brain; the other man was interested at least.

"Do you have any respect for yourself?" Gabriel hissed, pulling him aside as the newbies checked out the large stalls.

"Oh hush," Dean told him, glancing around to make sure no one would hear them, "you're starting to sound like Sammy." He knew that would get Gabriel to shut up, especially since Gabe's crush wasn't exactly the biggest secret in the studio.

Gabriel frowned, "Moron."

"Takes one to know one," Dean assured him cheekily, "How goes it with convincing my straight little brother to try batting for the other team in real life?"

"Hey Dallas," a sexy growl chimed in, interrupting whatever retort Gabe would have used to defend himself. John appeared alongside of him, giving Dean's arm a casual brush that could easily have been passed off as an accident, no matter if they both knew it totally wasn't. There was a hint of humor in his tone, so Dean knew he was teasing him with the porno name. "What's the policy for sex on campus?" Oh yeah, he was a live one.

"Save it for the cameras," Dean told him, adding, "Anywhere else and I might have to punish you" the 'if you know what I mean' perfectly clear in his tone. Gabriel snorted, and walked off rolling his eyes.

Dean kept flirting with John unashamedly the whole tour. In response, Gabriel was louder and more annoying than ever before, and Dean knew he was getting pissed off but couldn't really care less. He had seniority if nothing else, and Gabriel had to put up with him if he wanted to keep his job much longer.

He was much happier though when they made it to the dungeon. "It only looks like it's underground somewhere," Gabriel told everyone, leading them into the stairwell that would bring them to the overhead viewing box. The dungeon was the most elaborate set, kept up 24/7 in a large gymnasium-like room that had almost literally every toy known to man on hand at a moment's notice, not to mention plenty of areas for overhead suspension riggings and countless other places along the walls to chain someone up.

Contrary to what Sam had said earlier, he was not the one getting punished; Dean noticed right off the bat, hearing Gabriel suck in a quick breath at the sight of his brother. Leather was a good look on Sam; he had to admit to that much.

"'S my brother down there," Dean told John, touching his arm to get his attention even though he'd had it to begin with.

"Ever do a shoot with him?" The man asked mischievously, and Dean laughed, deciding to pull the mystery card on him.

"Maybe." They'd done two shoots together – one was a threesome with a girl who'd since moved on to another studio halfway across the country – and in the other… Hot damn. Dean could still remember Sam forcing him to his knees, fucking his face with more force than Dean could have ever hoped to handle and humiliating him with his dirty talk all the while. It was perhaps one of the best memories of his life, the most out of control, crazy thing he'd ever done on set, and that was really saying something. Even Sam had admitted it was good, and he'd never go further than a blowjob with a guy, taunting them about how disgusting they were for needing his cock.

"Oh my god," John sucked in a breath, "you totally have!" It certainly didn't seem to put him off though, if his impressed tone was anything to go by. Down below someone yelled out a 'Cut!' and he watched as his brother totally shifted personalities, unbuckling the gag from the girl's mouth and helping her back to her feet like a gentleman.

"Sue me," Dean grinned, raising his voice now that they were done shooting and he didn't have to worry about his volume, "Sam's hot. These things tend to run in the family."

He was watching for John's reaction, searching those dark eyes that turned on him with an amused light, but Dean certainly didn't miss Sam give him the finger from the floor. Gentleman, his ass.

"And that's the tour folks!" Gabriel announced, no doubt wanting to go flirt with Sam some more, but for once Dean didn't really mind showing them out.

He led the group down to the main lobby once again; let them know how they would all look over the applications, and assured the hopefuls that they'd be getting called back after a decision had been made. "If we like what we see, we'll have you come back in to pick up a script and introduce you to the rest of the studio. After that, it's all up to you. Have a great night."

"Get his number?" Gabriel asked, a bit bitterly, when Dean finally made his way back to Bobby's office to help them go over the applications. Not in the mood for his bitchiness, Dean responded by waving the small slip of paper in his face as he took his seat. It wasn't like it was his fault for enjoying himself.

"Real mature Dean," Sam assured him, shoving a small stack of papers into Dean's lap without waiting for an invitation, "let's just get these done already so we can all go home, or so you can go hook up with your random fling for the night." He amended, seeing the smirk on Dean's face.

"Fine," Dean agreed, smirking at Gabriel one last time before putting John's number away and turning to the stack of applications in front of him.

"Right. You idjits done?" Bobby asked, pulling up the first picture on his monitor, "these should be in order of the forms you have. First girl is Joanna Harvelle." The same gorgeous blonde Dean had been eyeing before he'd seen John stared back at them, and Dean looked down at his copy of her application. Nineteen years old, no experience, but she used to be a bartender. They could certainly do a lot worse.

"I'd do her," He offered up with a shrug.

"Who wouldn't you do?" Sam replied, teasing him, "But she's got my vote. Gabe?"

"Good with me."

"Next is Casey Trotter." A sexy looking brunette with a sizeable rack showed up on the screen then, and she's another one Dean definitely doesn't need to think twice about.

"Hell to the yes."

When everything was said and done, they'd decided on quite a few new employees, with few dissentions. For the most part, Dean knows his brother agrees with his judgment – after all, he'd been helping their dad with the hiring before he was even old enough to be in the shoots himself – but Sam puts his foot down a few times, and that's downright shocking.

"Not Gordon," Sam insisted, scratching his name off of the list Dean compiled, "that guy just looks like no good."

"But he's black," Dean nearly whined, because that's practically a guarantee that the number he put down on the 'measurements' question is indeed as large as he claims. He has lots of experience listed, and maybe Dean wanted a little piece of that too, but that's beside the point.

"Stop being such a racist," Sam argued right back, "I'm not black, and I'll have you know that no size queen has ever turned my dick down for being too small. I'm telling you, the way he was staring at me when you guys finished the tour was downright creepy."

"Aww, Sammy afraid of getting ogled by a gay guy, how cute!"

Sam just stuck his tongue out at that comment. "I have no problem being looked at by anyone, or I wouldn't be in this business Dean." He protested, "I even put up with you leering at my ass half the time! I just don't like the guy, plain and simple."

"I'll second that," Gabriel interrupted Dean from talking back to Sam again; "He was giving Andy some really weird looks when we were down on stage six too."

It wasn't worth trying to argue two on one, so Dean eventually let it drop, and Gordon's name stayed crossed off.

The next minor argument was over a girl named Eva, but eventually Sam conceded that one, and Dean replaced her name with another black guy's, just to piss Sam off. "Works for me," Sam told him, and Dean was mildly disappointed that Sam had given in so easily over hiring Jake. He contested Sam over the last guy Sam had added instead though.

"Castiel? What kind of stupid name is that anyway?" Dean asked, looking up at Sam from the sheet of paper.

"He'll pick a stage name anyway, Dallas." Sam assured him pointedly, "What's your real problem?"

"He looks too innocent. How's that going to work with him topping anyone?"

"It says he's a switch," Sam countered, always the infallible voice of reason, "We don't have to give him a role topping anyone. Besides, some people say you look too innocent, jailbait. Getting worried someone might try to steal your shtick?"

"No." Dean denied it, doing his best to ignore the hated nickname as Gabriel giggled.

"Then he's hired." Bobby cut him off before Dean could continue his protest, running a hand over his face in a gesture that spoke volumes as to how much he wanted to get things done with already. "I agree with Sam; people love seeing the 'innocent ones' get down and dirty. Go have fun with your new boy toy tonight, but you'd better be in first thing tomorrow for your shoot. Sam, Madison was waiting for you out in the lobby, and Gabriel, I don't care where you go, but get the hell out of my office."

If ever there was a dismissal, that was clearly it. Dean sighed, pushing the chair back and getting to his feet. "You got it Bobby," retreating to the lobby with Sam and Gabriel at his heels.

"That went rather well," He overheard Gabriel say, and couldn't resist turning around and watching the two of them small-talk for a moment.

"Yeah," Sam smiled hugely, his dimples looking even larger than ever in the dim lighting now that the place was closed for the day. "I can't wait to get started with the newbies, you?"

That was when Madison finally called him from by the door, not give Gabriel a chance to reply, "Come on Sam, hurry your ass up!" And Sam ducked his head in mock deference, peeking up from under his bangs with giant puppy dog eyes and grinning again as he made his goodbyes.

Dean and Gabriel both watched him leave – Dean with phone in hand to tell John that they were definitely going to be meeting up, and Gabriel simply looking a bit star struck, still staring at the door where Sam had swept out like a whirlwind, taking all of the energy in the room with him.

"Dude," Dean couldn't help giggling, despite knowing it was a bit of a low blow, "you have got to get a life."


End file.
